Our self care has been pushed further and further down the list until we’re chronically stressed, we’ve gained weight, we’re burnt out or developed even more serious health issues, such as depression, diabetes, obesity and cancer - which is ironic, given we forego our self-care so we can get more things done.
Many of us believe that it’s selfish to put ourselves first. However, our over responsibility for others causes us to deprive ourselves of what’s important and most true for us - leaving us feeling stressed, resentful and overwhelmed.
How are you depriving yourself? And, what is it costing you? Your health, your business, your relationships and your life?
Ask yourself daily: “What do I want/need?” It may be something as simple as “more sleep”, however, be as specific as possible. How would it make you feel if you got more sleep? What would it allow you to have if you got more sleep? Would it enhance your wellbeing, relationships, life? If so, how? And, what is it costing you to NOT get more sleep?
I know, I know! You’re impatient and don’t like to get others to help you because “I can do it better” or “if I do it, at least I know it will get done properly!”. However, your actions of over giving often leave others feeling disempowered or inadequate. When we let go of our need to control others, it will actually empower them to step up, take ownership and responsibility for themselves (and you get to kick back and put your feet up for a bit)!
Unfortunately, we’ve been trying so hard to be seen as smart, strong and successful in the eyes of others, that our focus on external approval and validation, has forced us to become disconnected with who we really are and what we want.
Developing a deeper and healthier relationship with ‘you’ is about being open, vulnerable and receptive to life and what it has to offer. It’s about being right here, right now, in the moment and having your soul’s antenna fully attuned to the beauty, joy and authenticity that is within you, as well as around you. And as you let go of your need to control, improve or perfect reality, your anxiety will subside, your stress will disappear, you’ll sleep better and you’ll lose a lot of ‘emotional’ weight.
And, when you do choose to do things for others, you’re not doing it out of guilt or obligation - instead you’re doing it from a place of connection and love.
This article was written by Leesa Melchert is a Self-Care coach and mum of one. She helps you to relax and rebalance your mind; accept and reconnect with your body and define and realign your personal style to reflect who you really are from the inside-out.
Her professional qualifications include: Associate Certified Meta-coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Enneagram Healing Practitioner, Certified Image Consultant, with 12+ years in the health and fitnessindustry.