Tapping into Emotional Freedom: Empowering Lives and Businesses with Fay Chan
What's really holding you back from true business success? Fay Chan has an answer and it's as simple and as complicated as your mindset. Fay is the founder of Living Well with Fay, an emotional freedom technique practitioner and one of our 20 Mums & Co experts. In this conversation, Carrie and I were fascinated by the insights that Fay shared into how she has helped hundreds of clients and also their children overcome obstacles and reach their full potential by learning to listen to their bodies.
Diving into EFT and I want to know all about this because I feel like it's a new concept, wellbeing concept, and discipline. So tell us about EFT. What is it? If it forms the basis of your work now, can you explain to all our Mumbition listeners how this process works?
Yes. I'll explain it how I explain it to children because it really is simple. So here I am holding up a keyring. For the listeners, it's a keyring of the Eiffel Tower. I'm holding up a Rubik's Cube, and I'm holding up a highlighter. So you can point and touch these things. You can hold them and feel them. So if I were to say to you, point to nervousness, point to disappointment, point to doubt, you can't, but you can feel it in your body, because our emotions are actually in our cell receptors and it's actually physically lodged and impressed in our DNA in cells. So with tapping, which utilizes the acupressure points, so whilst pulsing with your fingertips on specific points, you're still sending electrical signals to the brain to calm the amygdala. And then we're using the cognitive and exposure therapy, so the talking here to bring it up on purpose, to trigger it. Even though I'm indecisive about what to do with my business, I love and support myself.
So, I'm deliberately saying it to bring it up because this, and I'm holding up a highlighter, it's lodged somewhere in your body. So for kids or adults, it's somewhere in the stomach or in their head or in the shoulders. We're looking at this and this is actually lodged in and anchored in with memories, with emotions, and with meanings and perspectives that you've determined for yourself at that time and lived it since. Literally like a computer virus running a script, collecting evidence through time. And that's why life repeats for you. You're going, I've got a different boyfriend, I've got a different job, I've got different friends, and yet the same crap turns up. What's happening? It's because your script that's in your body is running the show. So EFT looks at uninstalling the script. We need to find the source memory and see how come it's there and rewire it basically.
So what I'm hearing is that we've been the sum of many of our experiences that have accumulated over time, and we attach certain meaning to those experiences. I've heard it once referred to as a fixed way of being. So if something happens, you end up going back into that fixed mode no matter who it's with because you've attached a certain meaning to that experience and it's triggered you and you go back into that. So I love that you can rewrite your story. That's what you're basically saying.
Yeah. I mean, you're not going to forget the memories. You're not going to erase them, neither are you going to give up chocolate just because you tapped about chocolate and found out the source of your emotional eating. You're still going to like chocolate, but you get to say when you have it. So the power is restored back to you. It's not over there with the chocolate or it's not over there with your KPIs. It's not over there with, I need to make money. It's over here restored back to you. So you've got clarity and confidence with what you want to make.
So the concept that you've explained to us is fascinating, but I wouldn't say that it's not without complexity or not without a certain level of confrontation. If you're open to those kind of things, you're going to be fairly receptive to it. But what happens when you are networking, which I know you do a lot of as a small business owner, and you're trying to get that concept to someone in that, Carrie talks about it being sort of that one to three minute kind of pitch. How do you synchronize all those thoughts quickly and connect with someone so that they're receptive to the message that you're sharing in that networking capacity?
Yeah, good question. A lot of people would've heard about tapping, seen tapping online, may have done some videos or some scripts on YouTube or on an app, and so they're already familiar. So I just really distinguish for them what it is to work with a practitioner versus tapping for yourself, which is really about self-regulation, feeling better in the moment so you can get on with your day versus the unplugging, the transforming work, which needs to be done with a practitioner.
And I guess because I've been in personal development for such a long time that the languaging naturally comes to me when I'm talking about stuff. And prior to me being in tapping, I was in budgeting, so I've been around the circles around, but using numbers, budgeting as an access to transformation, because when you cough up your numbers, what it is and what it isn't, it's actually there's a real power there, knowing whether you're in a negative or in the positive. So there's a real power also to how you've been being or how you've ended up being up here as to a specific memory that the body has recognized that it needs survival in.